Friday, June 13, 2014

People Changed.. Than So Do I


I am starting to realise that people around me ... literally change. And so do i. From that naive girl that was so sweet, innocent, polite, nice to a rude,talkative,strict, open minded and suprisingly .... strong. Yes, i was a wimp back then. Being picked by other kid quite so often but being loved at the same time. Pretending to be a major idiot because 'intelectual' didn't fit me. Being cute and cuddly cause i loved all the attention. Brave enough to confront boys and fight but so weak in front of girls. Well, that was me .

Year after year had passed. As i'm getting older , i'm starting to know how this world works. How vicious, arrogant and greedy mankind can be. I am getting wiser when i'm older. How? Experiences teached me. I learned from mistakes.

I'd learned how to confront people. How to consule. Gave advices. How to say 'NO', refuse, reject . How to answer back. How to help people. How to discuss. How to stand up for myself. How to protect my family and friends. How to use sarcsm . How to make others hate me. How to let my anger out. How to control my temper. How to identify friends or enemies. How to judge people. How to analysis people's reaction. How to keep a secret. How to be loyal. And how to survive in this cruel world.

 I know i'm brilliant,clever. I know i can make my parents proud with my result someday. I know how to study properly. I do know.

But when will i take that step?
 Nobody knows.
Neither do i.

Life. It is always simple. Allah just added a litte spice to our life. Why ? HE misses us telling Him our problems. He misses us praying to him. He misses us.

That's the only reason why our life being practically .. interesting :)

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Everything That Happened Have Their Reason

Assalamualaikum :)

Its been a long time since i last typing an entry , right. Now i'm typing using my phone. Its kinda hard but i'll get use to it. Being in hostel for a few month was really challenging but yet fun :D We could gain numerous experiances. Like the last time when we went outing with a my dormmates, we've been tricked to pay rm10 . And yeah. It is really a pain in the ass if you ask me. But that's that. Things happened. we just need to be grateful for there's nothing happen to us. Alhamdulillah. I will tell you guys the story later on. My diary.. i didn't have the time to write it. Living in the hostel was really tiresome. But it teaches us to be punctual and knows time management. I have many stories that related to the hostel but other time will do. :)

Me and kim ? Yeah.. we're both are not in a good condition. Not yet. Not never.  I don't know when will this cold war going to end. Enough suffering. It's painful. Actually, breaking up with you was a good thing that happened.if we still in a relationship.. i will always be 'munafik'. It was a painful experiences, i admit that. Eventhough being with you was always the wonderful thiƱg that had happened to me , but for how long ? The relationship will never last long without any halal bond. I've been far away from allah and i don't want that anymore. Couple somehow made me realize how hard it is to stay in a relationship without being completely mad, jealous, stress and all the emotion that allah had lent to me. Eventhough we are not friends anymore, i'm still grateful for all the wonderful thing that we've been through for a few month. You've made me happy and i thank you for that. Keep moving onward kim ! If fate has written that we'll be together in the future, we will :)

I'm sorry for hurting your feeling. I'm truly am.