congratulations tu ME!

Assalamualaikum.. and selamat sejahtera!

Alhamdulillah PMR is finally come to and end and all the batch of sweet 98' had received their result..
Mine wasn't that bad. Hahahaha. Because i've suceed getting beautiful straight A's !!
That certainly the most happy day of my life. Serious. I just make my parents proud and that is more than enough. Besides the fact that i got my own handphone !! Finally. Touchscreen lak tu :3

Anyway, for the first time, since puberty , my father hug me and kiss me on the cheek with joy!
The best moment I guess. Hahahahaha.
He kind of shocked with my result because i don't seem to be serious on studying. (but I am serious)

So, i am planning to go to another school, beside SMKSP.
Yeah.. try running away from reality in SMKSP? i guess not.
I just want to learn LK and stuff since i took a lot of interest in that.

I would really want to take 'kejuruteraan awam' as my course. it is my DREAM COURSE.
hehehehehe

Dah mohon. So , InsyaAllah dengan Izin Allah, saya diterima masuk ke sekolah teknik itu. hehehe
 Hoping for the Best! >_<

Berakhir Di Sini

Okay lah. Macam ni je.
Saya menangis air mata darah sekalipun, saya still tak dapat jawapan, masih lagi terpinga-pinga..

So, kesimpulannya.
Saya yang bersalah.
Saya ada buat salah sampai satu tahap awak tak boleh nak maafkan saya.
Awak dah penat dengan perangai saya.
Dah fed up.

Selama beberapa hari , awak tak layan saya
tak tanya khabar saya
supaya lebih mudah untuk saya sakit hati kan?
lebih mudah untuk saya minta putus,kan?
Kalau saya yang minta putus, saya tak sempat nak tanya kenapa kita putus.
Awak tak perlu lah nak melayan setiap pertanyaan saya.

Ya, awak ada tempat mengadu. Dengan Aina.
Saya? Kalau saya mengadu dengan orang lain, diaorang takkan faham.
Diaorang tak kenal sangat saya.
Saya mengadu kat Bestie saya sendiri, and awak pun tahu sapa kan?

Semalam.
Awak tuduh saya? why being so sarcastic?
Saya keluar dengan abang saya.
Saya tak jalan pun dengan alif. Terserempak je.
Itu pun tegur 'Orang Rumah' dia. *gelak sikit*

Nak biarkan macam ni?
Kalau betul apa yang saya fikir, awak tak payah lah nak explain lagi.
Biar saya berfikiran macam ni.
Awak pun mungkin dah minat kat orang lain.

So, apa yang saya fikir and rasa dah tak ada makna bagi awak, kan?

Break Up

A long long story....

Haish... never thought that it will end up this way..
Just when i am so deeply in love with him... our relationship suddenly 'SNAP!'.

Is it my fault? I can't really find the reason...
Well, maybe it is my fault...
Maybe i didn't respect him... or treat him badly...

But what i can concluded...
that he lost interest..
in me...

I've been waiting him.. every night... crying ..
just wanting him to miss me...

Back then, what i desperately need is..
One message...
whether it is from texting... from facebook...

But none of them came..
you left me hanging by myself..
It hurts me... so damn much....

When i thought about you lose interest in me...
It ruin me apart....
breaking me in pieces...

I can't confront with you now...
I just can't....

It is best to let it cool down for a while...
joining our or my heart alone from pieces..

:) the last thing i thought about you is...
that you find someone else...
that can make you happy...

well, maybe it is true?  :')

People's Problems

Well,I liked listen to people's problems, gave advices, solve anything that i can..

and as a friend, we ought to do that, right?

Not that i wanted something in return. I'm happy that they can solve their problems and live a great life. I'm happy for them. It just that... I kind of disturbed by the fact that when i need a person, to just listen to my problems , do what i always intended to do whenever people search for me and told me their problems..

they just don't.

I just want people to listen. Be a good listener for me.

I've always listen to theirs, so why didn't they want to listen to mine?

Every person got their problems, even the perfect people.

Their begging for my help , I helped them. Eventhough i need to sacrifices my things, my precious time...

Why just some people don't really appreaciate that?

I'm lending my ears, to listen, my shoulders, so that you can cry on it.. 

Even when I,myself, were having a lot of problems with people around me,even when i am still crying, I kept that. Just to make sure you felt as if i'm always by your side,steadily listening to your problems.

I just don't understand. 

I've already gave up hope to tell others how my heart felt, how my problems keep growing, how aching my heart is, how unfair this life, how ungrateful people sometimes.. 

I don't know where to turn.

People just kept getting bored, angry, just by listening to my problems.

And how do i suppose to trust people again?

It is so hard being a good listener when others just put me aside whenever i need them to lend their ears and shoulder...

When will this suffering going to stop?

Creepy Dream

I've got a creepy dream lately... It is really disturbing though....  For me.

I don't know if I miss him. Because the only thing on my mind is Kim. Then why is HE in my dream? The weird stuff is, there is only me and him. It is really disturbing -_-

We are at school. Talking,like the usual. Laughing about.. I don't know. I can't remember..
and then we went home.. to MY home.He walk with me till we get there. We went to my brother's room and start talking again. Then it was raining so he spent the time there just to wait until the rain stop. And then I remember... I asleep when i'm talking to him. He look at me for a while, then he put a pillow under my head, and cover my body with a blanket.. He smiled at me and went home...

I kind of stunned with that dream cause it seem so real...
I just don't get it. I love someone else, but why does HE appear in my dream?
He,who i never cried for,who i rarely thought about..

The mystery remain unsolved , i guess...
i don't get the answer...

But why him?

Rainy Weather

Assalamualaikum..

Beberapa minit sebelum pukul 12 tengah malam. Tapi saya berdegil juga nak menaip dan akan publish hari ini juga! Hehehehe...

Sekarang maybe musim tengkujuh, sebab asyik hujan je.. Tak henti-henti.. Non-stop. same lah tu maksud dia. Hahahaha. Well, persekitaran pun sejuk macam kat luar negara tu. ( As if!) Berangan je  lahh... :3

Saya and Dia ada sedikit problem waktu cuti ni.. sedikit? hmmm... sedikit kot. Hahahaha. Tapi after a lot of discussion,anger and tears , I think we can sort it out. :) Emosi terganggu. Sangat-sangat terganggu. Hari ni pun saya bangun pagi tak sesegar mana. salah satu sebab, saya tak tidur awal. satu lagi, mood hilang. Tiba-tiba pula ibu yang jadi Hyper hari ni manakala saya pulak jadi pendiam and lebih banyak senyum daripada bercakap.BUT, apa-apa pun. Benda dah settle. So, It's okay lah. :D Kena pandai control keadaan. cannot be too emotional. Kalau too emotional, sendiri dapat MENTAL BREAKDOWN. :p Tak mau kan? Fufufufufufufu~ :3

Ada juga terpkir nak cool down sikit relationship ni. Tapi kalau lama sangat cool down , takut ter'SNAP' pulak. Langkah yang berbahaya. Cannot cannot... Idea, REJECTED!

Ouh yeah. Member saya nak kena bedah nanti. Dia ada penyakit jantung berlubang sejak kecil. Harap-harap dia Okay. Aamiin aamiin ya rabbal aalamiin...

Kay lah. Dah sampai pukul 12. Dah macam cerita Cinderella je.  Hahahaha. When the clock strike 12, all the magic will dissappear. :D

Wassalam :3